(Cartoons post) I have to say something about Jax from TADC
First of all, crazy how it's like more than a week since I last posted, go figure, dead blog.
But forget that. I need to write as of June 25th of 2026, I'm writing this at fucking 3:58AM, I'm losing my mind because I've been watching the TADC episodes again, but more than that. I've rewatched the finale + 8 again, I keep watching reactions, fan theories, and just more and more stuff, breaking it down.
I'm not even kidding when I say this. The Amazing Digital Circus from Gooseworx is the best animated series in my whole life of seeing so many cartoons. In my childhood, I've seen plenty of cartoons like Adventure time, Steven Universe, The marvelous misadventures of Flapjack (CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED BTW), Billy and Mandy, Samurai Jack, so on, so many good fucking cartoons. But throughout my childhood I stuck with The Amazing world of Gumball. And the reason is that it's simply just such a funny series, that does gags I keep finding funny to this day. Although there's only so many times I could watch it until I can just predict the exact thing I know is gonna come. I'm pretty sure I saw all the seasons atleast 4 times, fully. No kidding.
I grow up into a young adult (still am), and I never really found a cartoon series, animated or drawn or whatever. I have liked alot of shows but nothing really made me think "Oh it beats my childhood favorite for sure"... until Digital Circus.
Honestly I wasn't really aware of Gooseworx, and I ain't gonna pretend to know her work. But she really fucking hit this ballpark a huge home run for indie animated series. And when I saw the pilot I knew it was gonna be somewhat big but not this big honestly. The amount of references that isn't obvious and annoying. The queer-coded messaging behind it. Also the clear visual change of going from cheaper graphics to pixar-tier graphics. It's just insane how much it blew up and I literally can't find any legible argument for it being objectively bad. You can say it's an "okay" show, and that's valid. It's definitely not everyone's show but I cannot take anyone serious if they said it was anywhere below 3/10 because it would need to actually be written bad, visually bad, and just a complete trash show. it isn't. It's nowhere near trash tier. It's either "okay" or "THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER" level of criticisms.
So yeah, spoilers
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. I WILL SPOIL THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS... Stuff?
Okay so, I didn't like Jax during the pilot, but it was a typical "Oh ofcourse, the asshole character" and typically I just think later on "Okay I can't wait to see how they'll take him. Maybe they'll make him the villain? Maybe some emotional backstory? An underdog hero?" any lovely twist and turn you could imagine. As the pilot came out and then the second episode came along, i just kept watching and felt like it's gonna be mostly funny bits and interesting adventures. We go into the third episode with the mildenhall manor, yknow just typical, Pomni and Kinger having a grounding conversation was nice. I think at some point, after the 4th one, I was thinking "Oh I guess this might be a pretty nice long running series then!" but no. Instead it shockingly became a much longer waiting, anxiously waiting type of show. Because at some point we learn that there would be just 9 episodes. I forgot when but around Episode 6, it was obviously going somewhere near the end. 7 8 and 9 were just plainly the start middle and end of the end. It was sad but not disappointing for what the finale was worth.
I've seen the finale like more than 10 times as I write this. And it didn't take my first watch, or second watch. But my fifth made me think more and more about Jax and how he abstracted.
I never questioned really why Jax would be so upset to be in a maid outfit other than it's embarrassing in general. I never realized how pink and flowery Jax's room was in episode 7 and 9. I didn't even think about how he confessed to ribbit that he shared something deep and personal to his mom. I assumed it was like him insulting his mother or accusing or whatever. But no.
Jax is a girl. It's so obvious she is a girl. She's a girl trapped in this hyper-masculine, self-hating, bully-mongering man body, and without excusing her horrible actions against Gangle, Ragatha, and Ribbit too, all of them. I still think about how ribbit didn't hurt her when she revealed that to her. And on top of that, shared her bow to another woman. Putting it on her head, telling her simply "Your secret's safe with me" makes me nearly tear up every time now that I think about it. I first thought "Oh it's cute, the guy is finally being soft" which btw is very fucking much needed. Not enough men are allowed to be a bit softer. But no. She's not a soft man, she's a transfem/trans girl. Whatever it is she wants to be.
And I cannot believe it, I didn't understand why we were being put face front on Jax but over time it just made sense and heartbreaking how the closeted trans girl in the show just killed herself basically (I personally think abstraction is both an action and condition like suicide).
And I wanna share this: I was actually at first thinking Jax was not trans. I'll admit, I genuinely hear this "jax is trans" thing and thought "That wouldn't make any sense. We never had a sign of him being a girl" but no, it's right there. It was all hidden so well you wouldn't even think of her as her unless someone spelled it out to you (or you're smart enough to figure it out.)
I genuinely want nothing but that with a show like this, we'd learn something atleast. Learn about how often queers like myself and my friends and so many more of my generation, will simply stop existing if we'd all be so isolated, depressed and at some point distressed to the point of suicide. It's easy to forget how bad things can really get and people we love can disappear. thankfully I haven't had someone pass away on me by suicide. And I hope to whatever being is above me if they exist that it wont. I love my peeps, the people who still listen to me and stick around. And if you're one of them reading this. I love you, You know I struggle to say it but I do, you're nothing but a light I think of when I don't like to live anymore. And I hope only that I can be a light to you too when you don't like being alive anymore. It happens, I just want to give and get hugs from people I know.
Whatever, enough blabbering. I unfortunately don't really have a song? but that's probably for the best for this post. I'll probably take another long ass time to write a post. See you all later
please remember, you're not alone always, you're alone sometimes. And it's okay, just don't do something you can't take back. Time will move on and you'll see yourself find joy, it'll eventually happen. Please stay safe <3