Finally...
It has been done... I have finished MY WHOLE FUCKING SEMESTER, YAAAAAAAYYYY and now it's more painful prepping for the next hell-ish semester ;^;
Ah regardless, this is better than having no breaks. A big ol' summer break is exactly what I need before I get into the thick of college shit. I really hope this summer will make my blog grow and prosper into something great! This reminds me of a song...
Ah we'll talk about that later. (6 hours later)
Um... hi, lol. Wow what was I gonna write here? I was actually just trying to start playing games and now I'm in a discord call with my friends. Lowkey thinking if I should leave and focus on what I wanna write. Actually, I have an idea.
I wanna talk about self-harm. And I'm treating this subject very seriously (If you don't wanna read this, skip this until ! mark) because I know there is a likely chance you readers might have thought about it, or have done self harming before. I want you to know first: I've gone through it before, I've done knife cuts and blunt object smacking my wrist, trying to break it. I only left myself no scars but life-long nerve problems and muscle tightness. So I suffer everyday with my mistake. I'm not trying to scare you, but I want to reach out and let you know that it happens, it's okay to survive through it, so long you catch it and stop yourself and if possible, reach out to anyone who you know would not judge you at all for it. People often forget that there is always someone here that will absolutely love you. And they'd fucking hate seeing you do that. I know it. I know so.
Self-harm however can bleed into other areas in your life, perhaps like mine or maybe not. For me, I found fictional stories where character hurt themselves and often it became a weird mix of just fantasy and kink where I love seeing people have scarred arms and lovers hug and help them heal by reassuring or rescuing them. I've personally had an ex-girlfriend who used to cut her arms enough to get scars, so I personally had a weird love for weirdos who are like that, because I am a weirdo like that too, we all are, and we are way more awesome than we like to think.
Self-deprecation is just as bad as the self-harming. Mentally, you're cutting/bashing your ego and self-esteem. And in that sense, you can survive that period of self-doubt but it's not as visible as the other. In that case, I genuinely think that communication is the most vital tool everyone should use. If you are reading this and you don't suffer this but you think someone else might, please, talk to them. You have no idea how much they'd love for you to just check in, atleast once. We all want to be loved and seen <3
!
Oof, that was heavy. But I had to release this message from my head to you readers. So let me move on. I've been feeling pretty good since I finished up my Exam and Project! The only thing left for me to do is now to finish my resume, get into my job-search for my Co-op, and FINISH MY BACKLOG GAMES! and the first game will be... LOST JUDGEMENT!
So, to be honest, I already started this game? but when semester hits ya hard, you just push lots of sorts of games, + a flood forced me to just stop playing it at some point. So honestly it's like going back into the thing but still, it's a worth fucking game! Matter of fact, Dear reader... GO PLAY JUDGEMENT!!!! It is not only worse than Lost Judgement, the sequal, but it's actually such a good fucking game, the sequel itself FUCKING SMASHES IT... or so I was told, I'm still too early to say that really.
Anyways, here is my song of the day: Alkaline Trio - Burn