Procrastination
Yeah, it's one of those moods. I'm not even sure if this post is gonna be up but I hope that if it does, it won't be too much of a bummer. I mean nothing bad really happened (except for one of my projects, that's for another day though), I just feel this pressure to study and yet when I think about it, I think "yeah but then I'd have spent this whole morning not really doing what I want. I can do it later for sure..." and ofcourse later becomes "hey it's way too late... I fucked up, I guess I'll study tomorrow morning", like an absolute dumbass.
That's a funny way of saying the brain is super dynamic and flexible; even if its harming the person's ranking or academic need or anything that will benefit the long run, your brain can twist the narrative to "Well now we can just enjoy the time we have left, it's not like the future is any good to us anyways!". This is what we call instant gratification in Psychology.
Just odd when I name it now as I feel myself want to just mellow out and do nothing but watch stupid youtube videos and vegetate my mind. Really pickle it in the stew of stupidity. That's fucking crazy btw, yesterday I was so locked in my studying and playing games with my friends that I had no time to sit here and properly write a post for myself. Ah but this is mostly rants in the morning, my day just started and I chose to vent a bit as you read this, reader.
Anywhosen, I've been lately just staring at random shit and think alot about nothing other than "What should I eat now this morning?" "Should I shower today?" "I got that day to meet up with my friend, I should wash my clothes", etc. etc. And instead of studying or focused on doing anything proper, I feel like sitting down and writing my OCs, that's the funny bit, I don't like to ever show off my written characters because 1, most of these OCs are personal to me, and exclusively to me and 2, it's very adult and smutty, I'm pretty sure no one here wants to come across a blog that only publishes smut, but if I have to confess, yes I do write smut.
Lots of smut actually, I love to write smut but hate to read it. I just don't like seeing others put their horny writing into the public and read it because it feels a bit too intimate to share something like that, but even then, most of smut as a reader is... bad... really fucking bad. It's actually fucking deplorable. Because 90% of smut I've read anyways is just porn script writing, and some of theses ERPers are so fucking stupid, it's mostly AI-slop writing shit, not actual writing by human fingers!
If it wasn't obvious, I'm a very sex-positive queer, I don't believe in kink-shaming unless it's a harmful kink. So I don't judge too harshly but I'm fairly firm and rude in my opinions on the quality of writing erotica. A good feeling erotica should include a love sequence of some kind, if not a couple, then if its just flings, it should show the humanity of sex in writing! The way to describe that is by using the sense in vivid details we humans use. You often may have seen porn, probably so, and I assume you readers may have had sex too, I don't really know. But for anyone who never had sex, you don't really know how memory-burning your first one will be. Because the amount of social nervousness and intrinsic feeling you hold for another human being to choose to see your nude body and try to make it orgasm is just a whole 'nother world of intimacy.
Woah... the fuck was I writing? Sorry, I think I just got distracted in my tangent about good sexual relations, not the kind where you impregnate a woman and leave her to be a single mom. Besides that point, I'm very bored, anxious about my exam and project, and just don't wanna do much more than watch and jerk off, that's the honest truth readers!
Anyways, speaking of doing nothing, I've been listening to nothing interesting in a mainstream point of view but to me, I found something super fucking interesting. So I was listening and watching this Zen TV vid, well there is 2 of them made by ArpWire TV, they're fucking awesome as compiling and whatever doing music videos and all that. I'll link the two videos here: Zen TV 1 and Zen TV^2
Now for the specific thing, I was listening to this section of the Video and I found this artist going by the name of "S?k", and the song here in the video was "RAIDEN", it was so interesting to me I was looking through apple music on what other songs they make and WOW, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE THE KILLER7!!!
Apparently this dude made 5 of the smiths own songs??? I mean interesting how Garcian and Mask de Smith have none but I just didn't think I'd see Suda51 characters in my media player??? I mean it should be known that I live in America, I won't tell you exactly where, you nosy fuck, but it's obvious I live in a western world influence. However I fully acknowledge that perhaps Suda51 is like super popular in Japan maybe? But even then, this was kinda unexpected because it's not like the game was mentioned beyond just people who know the other games like No More Heros for example, and even THAT game barely gets mainstream perspective. I think the word I'm really reaching for here is that these games are Cult Classics. There is an obvious, kind of influential group around these types of games.
and btw I fucking love people who CREDIT where and who the music is made by and from. It's so fucking vital in this digital age we actually trace and bring well I was gonna say "Provenance" because lets be honest, some of these digital songs and videos are gonna be historical, and owned by someone, these things? Must be documented and tracked when they hold intrinsic value.
... oh yeah anyways, Here is my favorite song of the day: Wtf I just found his bandcamp, just go and show some love to this dude
as always, remember that you're probably cool, cuz you're reading my posts!!