Westworld + Futureworld Review
Honestly I won't even give a spoiler warning this time because who honestly gives a fuck? BUT I still loved Westworld and wanna share why it was pretty fun.
WestWorld
Okay, so with WestWorld, the movie is basically just a futuristic resort with 70s stuff (cuz its a 70s movie, duh) and the most fascinating thing about it is that this movie was directed and written by the same guy who wrote the Jurassic Park book and co-wrote the screenplay on the movie, same name. Which means if you loved Jurassic Park's thesis on "Science taken too far and now our theme park is going murder wild", Westworld is basically the same idea but instead of dinosaurs, we got AI robots going murder crazy. But that's later. The movie first shows you how there is 3 worlds in the Delos Resort. You have Western World, Medieval World, and Roman World. The story mostly revolved around West World and a bit of Medieval World. The resort itself was mostly showing off how you can go kill the bad guy robots, be the hero and have sex and eat and drink later.
Somehow, along the way, the eggheads in the Delos control center had these meetings and realized the robots were malfunctioning something weird, eventually the robots began to refuse guest's requests and just started to act on their own autonomy. Once that shit happened, people started to die all over the worlds. The protagonist, I think his name was Peter, was one of these guests. I don't really care enough to talk about his like arc going through "Oh is this really real?" "Are these robots or people?" and whatever, but once the gunslinger clanker shot his buddy John, he realized what's going on or knew something was wrong at least. Being chased by the gunslinger, I genuinely found the movie to be such an exciting one. Seeing him get chased by the gunslinger robot Terminator style, it was pretty fun to just watch in tension, but even so, it wasn't that tense, but very interesting to see play out. I'm the type of person to watch movies and appreciate lack of dialogue for sake of actions. Sometimes you can definitely say more without saying anything, if you can even understand that.
Anyways, the movie ended with him killing the gunslinger in Medieval World, and btw the last few scenes made me realize it's so obvious. Of course that dungeon girl was a robot, he didn't fucking check her palms. And ofcourse she was gonna die because he fed her water, and ofcourse he backed up from her, up the stairs and what do you know? the scene was setting up a jumpscare where someone was reaching out from behind. The only surprise was having it be the black, charred gunslinger stumbling and falling. I saw that black glove-clad hand and I thought "Oh shit, the dark knight is gonna kill him" but nope. I'm guessing the queen and dark knight robots were actually turned off, perhaps their reserve batteries were out.
So that's about it, right? And the credits were pretty short, very lovely movie, I loved it. 8/10.
FutureWorld
Now... Futureworld was not touched by the guy, I realized I didn't put down his name: Michael Crichton, this guy. So yeah, from what I learned, he didn't want to make a sequel so some dumbasses just pushed the IP from what it was and made Futureworld. And what do you know, it's a political, conspiracy "humans are gonna ruin the planet anyways" with fucking stupid James Bond-esque ass villains. Some dumb fucking corpos who just wanted to clone the guests of the new Delos rebranded Resort and wouldn't you fucking know it, it sucks. First of all, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CREATE MURDER ROBOTS, KILL 150 PEOPLE IN THE WESTWORLD MASSACRE AND GET NOOOO GOVERNMENT INTERVENTION??? I bet in the universe the FBI is just a bunch of dumb fucking morons porking each other and call it a day cuz wtf are they doing???
Plot hole asides, the premise is incredibly boring. They just try to make it out like "Okay, how much more sci-fi nonsense can we do? Oh I know! Let's make Westworld mothballed in the story, replace it with Futureworld, a space-aged fantasy, and then lets just make a totally irrelevant stupid fucking world called Spa World! What's in it!? Just... Spa!" Idk I genuinely can't fucking tell you what they were thinking. In case you're confused, Spa world seems to just be like an induced hallucination area where they make ugly old people hypnotic and look at each other as younger and more beautiful. Big fucking asterisk on "Beautiful" btw.
Anyways, those just suck, stupid future world, Spa world (genuinely fucking hate you for this), Roman world and Medieval world, which were rechanged but only seen on TV mostly, We never see most of the scenes from the worlds by the way. I even wanna top off how the majority of the film was like in the backrooms of the facility, some stupid shit about this worker guy, Harry I think his name was? And his robo friend. Stupid shit honestly.
The twists were also bad, they were so predictable I should've just started to make a drinking game out of it. Tracy flirts with the worker in the control center "Oh he's a robot, isn't he?" Turns out he was, literally exactly how I seen it from a mile away. The Control room is run by robots by the way. And the evil corpo guy, Mr Duffy? As soon as he starts fighting Tracy and Chuck, I knew he was a robot. It's so obvious that it's boring. I just gave up the movie, rubbed one out during it and went back to see it's ending and nod to myself realizing "Ah yes, never gonna fucking watch this shit again". If your movie is that boring that porn is better for my time, you made a shit movie. 2/10, I only give the 2 points for trying, the set was cool, kinda, it was kinda interesting to see future world, but everything (including that stupid fucking "mars" skiing scene, that was literally just snow skiing with red filter on) in that movie otherwise was shit.
Anyways, I guess that's about it. Now I'm gonna bring my focus back on July 4th post and also I'm gonna probably maybe hopefully upgrade this blog. Don't count on it though.
Here is your music my lovely readers: WestWorld Muzak!