What a day!
Imagine yourself like this...
It's an old historic city, and you live in it. It's large yet quaint, laid out like a mat rather than a box structured to go up. It's sprawling with brick buildings and region-specific architecture that somehow made sense back in the 90s, I suppose. It's not too bad at the park either, walking through it, all sorts of people walking by in this clearly sunny, beautiful day after brutal days of cloudy, rainy, cold winds and sunny freeze days. Temperatures just come and go and even just 2 days ago, it was fucking snowing at some point, in April!!!
But no matter, because today it was warm, wearing that wooly sweater, you would probably feel like it was a mistake because you came back home all sweaty and heated from the surprise weather.
That was my day, and boy was it wonderful! I finished up my exam just 4 hours ago as I write this and it was shockingly easy, super fucking easy. The only thing that would hurt my grade at this point would be my over-correction and nothing else... However I do not have this confidence with the next final exam and another un-related project that is failing to complete at all.
But I don't really wanna talk about my academic stress in these posts too much unless they're relevant. Instead I wanna write about how today just felt better for some reason. That's the funny thing, isn't it? Some days just suddenly become beautifully perfect and some just don't seem to affect you that much huh? Some days even become the WORST honestly for no particular reason.
That's the thing though. I really do doubt that anything happens with little to no reason. I have a belief that no matter what happens in this universe, for no religious reason, purely scientific: if something feels like bad or sad or happy or scary, there is absolutely atleast 1 reason that is causing it, it cannot be 0. There might be a few reasons, maybe 1, but it has to be atleast 1! I just don't see how somethings just happen - For example; if I woke up feeling bad, it's usually a bunch of bad reasons stacked instead of just "Feeling down" or "it's just one of those days". From the top of my head, and I did have an anxious morning today, I would name my reasons easily:
Obviously the exam I was taking but it was not just this, it was also
A lacking of showering since yesterday, I showered the day before yesterday but I skipped a day and the days were not kind to my body so I felt grimy and gross
Poor sleep, I can't name the reasons why now but the truth is that I'm pushing midnight to even 1AM sleeps and it's taking the toll on my body
I'm a caffeine addict, perks (or curse) of being a college student with good grades and finally
Private reasons that don't concern you public readers! But since i named a few, it should be obvious that it's something you can imagine yourself.
It's no surprise really, a good life comes to those who have luxury to pause and reflect their problems. I'm not here to preach to anyone because I see truth like this: we're all struggling for time, but some of us are lucky to have enough of it and some of it are just not having enough of it. And some of us have too much time that it hurts us even more. If it wasn't obvious, I like to play with philosophy without taking it seriously because it's just sitting around and thinking a lot, lol.
Anyways... I also have been playing plenty of Minecraft too, lots actually! And it's been a real treat to play this game again with a few folks I've known from ranging friends to just acquaintance. Nevertheless, they're all good folks who I like to play games with. That's fun.
Me finding random structures of others
On music, I've been listening to a lot of old country goodies, lots of yodeling actually. I fucking love this genre because unlike modern country music about "beer, trucks and guns", I love old songs that reflected the more kinship of the cowboy stereotype: loners, herders of cattle, yodeling European descendent weirdos who love to imagine and dream while they live possibly the most boring regions and time periods of their lives. It's grand music, theatrical, feels like Hollywood movies that were screening for the 1910s! It's just really good fucking music.
For example, I've been listneing to lots of Rex Allen and Rosalie Allen (Woah, I just realized as I type they share the same last names!!), and they've always been in my head as perfect songs for the image in my head as a college student who's stuck with nothing much to do for this summer for various reasons that will help me feel social at all. Well outside family and all that. In general, I just put myself in a headcannon and the songs are something I relate as a desert dweller of origin.
Here's the song for this post that I've been gushing about, this is a Rosalie Allen goodie: On Silver Wings!
As always, stay safe, and remember you are LOVED by someone, somewhere! <3